Demeanor also otherwise called “executive presence”. It means looking clean, always clean shaven with kempt hair, looking polish. Obviously, handsome men and beautiful women will get this very quickly, but it takes discipline to maintain it.
For example, men need to run or work out on a regular basis to stay in shape, to have that glow in their faces all the time. Whereas women also need to be fit, slim and happy and wear the appropriate make up to maintain this in the long run. Demeanor helps with leadership because it adds charisma to you. When you are charismatic it is easy to open doors and it is easy to get people to listen to you. Let’s say you look good, you feel great, you are wearing your best dress, you feel so confident, then you make a pitch, you will automatically get a chance because people love your energy, people are looking at you, hey who is this guy, with so much energy just showed up and changed my boring day, people are willing to give you a chance if you show up with so much energy, that is what demeanor is all about. Several companies measure their executives on their demeanor as part of the annual performance appraisal process.
But hey what do I do, I am brown skinned guy or a gal, I am not very handsome or beautiful, do I not stand a chance? No you do stand a chance, beauty, being handsome, demeanor everything opens the door, but after the door is opened if you say dumb things the door will close even faster. So it is not the end of the world, you need to understand that you are a little weak in that area and compliment yourself with other strengths you have and leverage those strengths to open doors. For example, if you are passionate about technology, then befriend people that are passionate about technology too and open doors through introductions through the passionate technology folks that you know, that is why it is important to understand your strengths and weaknesses, may be your strength is storytelling, then start your presentation with a captivating story and win the audience over that way.
Also dress well, especially in Western societies, because Westerners evaluate everything by looking at the external appearance. Also keep in mind the standards of Westerners are very high compared to Indians. American standards are very high compared to the rest of the world. When you are coming from India, make sure you have the very best of everything. Pick the right colors of dress that matches your skin tone, especially when you are a brown skin person you need to be careful in picking the color that matches your skin tone, if you pay attention a majority of the clothing that is sold in the U.S. is made for fair skinned people, don’t buy that and keep wearing that without any thinking on how well those color match your skin tone. Especially the plain black dress, it makes brown skin people look dull, instead pick a yellow color dress, especially for brown skinned women. Yellow is the color the Indian Miss America girl Nina Davuluri wore when she was crowned. Another example I like is Sheryl Sandberg. She always wears the best corporate attire for women. Her demeanor is always perfect and she looks impeccable all the time. Marisa Meyer of Yahoo is good as well; however, Sheryl Sandberg comes across as much more mature and a motherly nurturing leader in her conversations. Among the men. Brad Pitt is always perfect, also the Wall Street guys tend to dress better, have a great demeanor and hence come across very well.
Clothing is very important because that helps with building the best first impression, people form an impression about you in 3 to 6 seconds when they see you for the first time, this happens when you walk into the room for the first time and you don’t get second chances in building the first impression, it is very important to make that first impression the best one because whenever they remember you in their head that is the image that is going to pop up first. Also make sure your suit fits really well, I have often seen people will be wearing the most expensive suits with awful fitting, which completely defeats the purpose, it really makes you look like a joker, even though you might be a great scholar or a learned expert in your chosen discipline.
Also you don’t have to dress only in Western clothes, especially when you wear it for the first time. The reason for dressing yourself in a suit is to embellish yourself, bring out the charisma in you, but if you don’t feel comfortable in that dress do not wear it, always choose the dress that you are most comfortable in, this is very important if you are delivering a presentation or attending a party where you will meet a lot of important people, because if you are not comfortable in your dress you will feel awkward and uncomfortable during the entire session and you will come across awfully, which will make other people wonder: “Hey I thought he is a very charismatic guy, I kinda felt awkward while talking to him.” This is how they are going to feel. So you better make sure your demeanor is great when you go for important meetings, meetings that are going to change your life.